His voice and her voice – I like Scotland
better than Scotland on TV. Everywhere.
And James Fox isn’t James Fox.
Since when was James Fox not James Fox. Emilia Fox is Emilia Fox.
I heard her say she was working class once.
My wife’s grandfather was a Lord. I am a Lord.
I am draconian and extending wars. Needlessly.
All wars are needed. I mean needless. I mean
all men are saints. Not heroes. Or where is Bonnie Greer.
Sometimes I would listen to Bonnie Greer and only
after she’d finished talking would I realise she wasn’t Germaine Greer.
Masterchef Australia. I want to see Tom Paulin squirm.
I mean squirm in a good way. I didn’t even know he was a poet. I didn’t know poetry then.
I knew The Strokes and I knew late night soft core porn on Channel 4.
And Mark Kermode. Not Lawson. Christ, I’ve just realised
Tom Paulin might be Scottish. Christ, I’ve just googled Tom Paulin
and he’s an Ulsterman. Once, years before they tore Newsnight
Review open, my friend told me that Gordon Burns was an Ulsterman.
Look, James Fox looks nothing like James Fox even though
Laurence Fox looks sort of like James Fox,
even though Emilia Fox has a student loan. She keeps getting
letters from the student loan company.
She couldn’t go away to university because her
brother was already away at university so she worked weekends
at Tesco and Sainsburys and Somerfields
where they gave her a grey coat. It’s within
the context of a film. Like American Beauty.
I definitely remember Mark Lawson
and Ekow Eshun and Tom Paulin
and Germaine/Bonnie Greer talking about American Beauty
Like I definitely remember Kirsty Wark
on The Great Comic Relief Bake Off.